Excessive Accountability

Why was your phone busy for 3 minutes? Who was that girl you were with in the street this afternoon? Why are you still wide awake? Why can’t you eat now? What is the reason behind this and that? Have you forgotten you are married and you cannot enjoy with friends? Do you want me to kill that girl or you will help me with that? How come you think like this, don’t you know you have responsibility? Why you bought new watch when I have not bought my cream since last month? Where were you this evening? Why should you have tea outside? Who was that on the phone? Whose number is this on your missed calls’ list? And more like those. To be honest, never ending streak of ‘W’ and ‘H’ words. And now I have found the answer to all of them in a single sentence. No one on earth can satiate sad creature, be it a god or devil, literally no one can. Only way to live through these word charges of sad creature is to giving no damn and moving on even though if it gets counted as cheating.

Excessive accountability leads to zero accountability due to frustration and there by creates a huge room for cheating. Cheating is the must when you struggle to be yourself amidst the established creepy convictions of ‘what you should’s and ‘what you shouldn’t’s because at the end of the day you are only accountable to yourself for your deeds, and to no one else. Society is a real killer of happiness. They say we are social animal by birth and society is the cornerstone of out happiness. But I doubt why should it be like that? What makes social animal by birth? Having lived in different, so called, societies I can safely say that social nature can be summarized into  gossips and backbiting, nothing else. When you actually need helping hands, all you get is ass turned towards you and when you are about to accomplish something then even God cannot stop the flood of your well-wishers. Now it’s my turn to ask why so? If we are real social animal by birth or nature then Why on earth people should care about me if only I can be of any help to them? It’s ironic to learn that people don’t care about people anymore. What they really care is the power associated with that individual.
Trust. Simple yet too ambiguous word. May be this word has at least two faces: one that faces the defender and other that faces the offender. Rest of the faces of this trust thing can take any form ranging from lifetime torture to character assassination. This trust thing is so addictive and anyone intoxicated with this thing gets high forever and looks at the world through skeptical eyes. As a result they try to find flaw in everything, which they ultimately do succeed in because to err is human. They then judge the person based on that fact as if the definition of that flawed person’s life cannot be changed and it has to be very that, betrayer. This is more or less like smelling the stinky organ of an individual and reporting to the world that the person smells stinky. I hope you do understand which organ I am referring to. Poor creatures, they are, and in the mean time, enemies of happiness as well.

“What’s my mistake? I have done nothing wrong. I am right in every aspect. ” This is their claim. I wonder if they are human being or something divine ? Divinity, though abstract, I presume, is only entity that never commits any mistake. Rest of us are flawed. So by arguing that they have done no mistake, are they advocating their very being as divine? I feel sorry for those poor creatures and gloomy souls for they never ever tried to understand the value of happiness because they were too busy fixing the price of happiness as the heritage of one who has never done any mistake. Well, may be its my turn to ask how come is it possible that the creature of almighty who is hard-coded to commit mistakes has done no mistake at all despite being destined to commit one from the very beginning of the time?
No matter how absurd it may sound, I urge you to think wrong. Fall hard. But don’t forget to fix the best and get up harder. Because, as apple’s advert had suggested us, people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do. If you think you are human then get out of this vicious circle of always being right. It’s not possible to always be right. In fact, being always right is the wrong approach to live a life. Enjoy your life in every way you can. Live it to its fullest and don’t bother what other might say. Let them speak because you live your life in accordance to the mental image of yourself that you have crafted over the years, not according to their definition of your life. Except death, everything has solution. Tragically, I have heard the news of suicide of many smart minds due to excessive accountability, including that of my own sister. What’s wrong if a person does couple of things wrong? Should it mean that they have lost all the moral and social ground to live? Were they the only one to do such wrong? Why this society thing always misuses the majority domain? C’mon, live and let live because we only have one life to live. Cheat, help, be honest, be hard working, be lazy, be a dreamer, be a believer, be a doer, be an activist and be everything you feel like being in this very life and right now because let alone next life, even tomorrow is not promised.

Freedom is precious and all of us, at times, have exploited it in a way or the other. But that doesn’t mean end of the world. Learn from your mistakes, not to be or look good in the eyes of the others but to live your life majestically. You were born to be majestic in real sense, not just good enough for society. Without freedom, you can only dedicate your entire energy to freak free. With freedom, you can do wonders. So step out of this excessive accountability realm, let some fresh air rejuvenate your free blood and unleash its wrath to live. Else you will just exist and vanish. Make your life count in your own standard, not theirs. Cheers to life, to yours, mine and to all those majestic lives which have deep rooted understanding that life is meant to be lived, not to be good enough. If you commit any mistake, then don’t mourn, move on. After all, why should one wrong move dictate your entire life?

-Anup Dhakal Chapain


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